|
I suppose that I owe everything that I have in life to Johnny. Johnny’s father was the head of the company. Through him, I discovered that the chain was actually a privately held corporation. His father worked from his office in Cleveland which warehoused the product before we received it.
I had never met him. The fact was I was afraid to. I had this habit of saying or doing the wrong things when I was uncomfortable. But I got to know Johnny well. He was cute but it was obvious that he knew it. He used it with every female who walked into that store. I could see that he turned on the charm as a persona. Also, sports were his life. I had experienced boys like that and preferred to keep my distance.
He was nice to look at, though. He was tall and dark with curly hair. He was always scruffy looking but in a meditated fashion as if he meant to look that way for some reason. I suspected that he only shaved on Friday nights because the scruffiness was present every Monday morning without fail. He had crystal blue eyes which seemed to look through everyone as if he could see their soul. I thought those were his best feature. He was always cheerful and lots of fun around the store. He seemed to understand my humor which was lost on so many people. So I really enjoyed working around him.
Johnny had worked there since he was 16. He said that his dad was really into personal responsibility and understanding completely where the money for his pleasures came from. He was excited that he was to leave for college in Syracuse, New York in late August. He was a baseball player and it seemed a good one. His goal was play first base for Boston, “but any club that drafts me will be alright.” As I was a Cub fan living within relatively close proximity to Cleveland, he found me very amusing.
He went all the way through school in the county just south of mine which meant about six miles away. This was the closest store to their house and, Johnny kept saying, one if his dad's favorites. He claimed that his dad was in the store all the time but as I said, I never saw him. Johnny said that his dad liked to keep an eye on Roger and make sure that he is doing okay. Plus, he added, his dad and Charles were “like blood brothers or something.” Johnny called Roger “high strung,” but then he liked to tease Roger. Roger, although he knew that he was being teased, would play manager with him and tell him to get to work whenever he had had enough of Johnny’s nonsense. I laughed whenever he took Johnny in hand.
Johnny started asking me out after the second week that I worked there. Honestly the thought scared me. I liked him in a friendly way but dating had always been a disaster in the past. He was nice but he was far too charming to be real and I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. I knew that if there was a choice between a game or spending time with me, he would be at the game without question. I was far too insecure for someone like that in my life. Watching him with Roger told me that he could easily hurt my feelings and then make fun of me if I showed my hurt. I knew that he wasn't mean but he was inconsiderate at times. Also, there was the fact that his dad owned the place. I didn’t like the idea that he could get me fired if we ever broke up.
To top it off, he hated my books. He started calling me a book nerd. It was true. I buried my head in books looking for truth. One could say that I spent my post pubescent years in other people’s minds. Piece by piece I searched the world around me for truth. What I saw was a culture that offered me appearances and should be’s instead of an honest dialog of what is. I rejected this world in favor of art. Art held for me the only real truths that I recognized. Art made me think for myself. They were honestly illusionary. The fact that he couldn’t relate to my books gave me the opportunity to use the "Now do you understand why I won't go out with you?" line with Johnny so that I could keep our conversations light.
I watched girls come in to see him when it was time for lunch or to go home every day. I don’t know if I ever saw the same girl twice but I must have. As long as I kept our relationship on a friendly, yet detached level, he amused. I just couldn’t trust him enough to take anything or anybody seriously. At that point I took almost everything seriously.
Johnny started calling me a “mental drifter” as well. He liked to say that getting my attention was a challenge, especially if I was in the middle of something. I was not easily disturbed from my thoughts, Roger would say far more kindly. Of course that soon deteriorated into Johnny calling me a “space cadet” when he was in the mood to poke fun at me. He did it so playfully and without viciousness so I found myself laughing as I got used to it. He was smart and funny. He was also a real smart ass without maliciousness. It made me giggle every time he said something inappropriate.
My favorite thing about him was that he made the little old ladies giggle. It didn’t seem to matter how sad or tired they looked when they came in, by the time that they got to the register, they inevitably seemed happy. The sound of little old ladies giggling is one of my favorite sounds to this day but the associations that I have with it now are quite different from what they were then.
|
